9:13 p.m. - We love how they remind us for five minutes about how much money they are making off hocking the songs on
iTunes. (They say iTunes can’t show how many are being sold for fear it would skew the votes.) We downloaded two of
David Cook’s live performances, only to then remember that the songs are like 30 seconds long! What a waste! (Well, actually, we keep repeating it over and over — we’re getting our money’s worth, dammit!)
9:16 p.m. - “And there’s a ‘whole lot’ on the line tonight!” Ryan Seacrest (har har) chimes.
Cheesy Chikezie is up. He looks totally nervous. He even points to the stools. He is in the bottom three.
And it was no shock to him.
9:18 p.m. - Brooke White isn’t in the bottom three. Those Whiteheads can’t get enough of her.
9:19 p.m. - Carly Smithson is our favorite. Overly concerned with her plump appearnace, she was wearing the wonderful secret-to-stick-thiness Spanx last night. Is that why she sucked? And the news reports said she was pregnant. She is not. She’s safe, also.
9:25 p.m. - Um, something is going on with our cable because it keeps repeating the same frames over and over again. Now it just blacked out. Oh no!!!!
9:26 p.m. - Hmm … we didn’t know
Chris Cornell had a version of “Billie Jean”. That makes sense as to why it rocked. Watch/listen to Cornell’s version below.
9:32 p.m. - OK, we’re back in business. Oh, was that
Constantine? LOL. We once had a secret crush on him!
9:33 p.m. - Someone calls to ask Cheesy if he is single. He says he’s
“very very single.” Ehhhh… we are starting to *really* not like
David Archuleta.
9:34 p.m. - Brooke wants to do a duet with
John Mayer. Typical. A 13-year-old calls in and asks if
Simon Cowell thinks he’s the most attractive person on the show. He seems to be the most sane — and sanity is pretty attractive to us!
9:36 p.m. - Kimberly Locke from season 2 shows us her restaurant and why she isn’t sticking to just singing. Why do these people choose the worst songs?
Jessica Simpson could write better stuff unassisted. At least she got a little dazzled up for this event.
9:51 p.m. - Ramiele Malubay is safe? Jeez.
9:52 p.m. - Jason Castro and
Kristy Lee Cook … she is
safe!
Urgh.
9:52 p.m. - Bottom three of
Syesha Mercado, Jason and Cheesy. We say Cheesy will leave.
9:53 p.m. - Jason is safe. Syesha is safe. Cheesy goes bye-bye! This only seems natural. And
boring.
Tags: Gossip by Cloner
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To get on Paris Hilton’s new MTV show for retards (a.k.a. anyone who wants to be treated like that poor Tinkerbell — toted around in her $2,900 Jimmy Choo bag like a living accessory), it seems pretty simple. Either