To get on Paris Hilton’s new MTV show for retards (a.k.a. anyone who wants to be treated like that poor Tinkerbell — toted around in her $2,900 Jimmy Choo bag like a living accessory), it seems pretty simple. Either create a profile to whore yourself out to your zillions of MySpace friends, or submit a video of yourself looking like a jackass.
You’ll be on I Want to be Paris’ New Best Friend! in no time!!
You know who we could see really going for this? Chris Crocker. What ever happened to his reality show?
8:05 p.m. - First victim … Ramiele Malubay. She plans to “step it up” by singing Hearts “Alone”. Her voice is not pure — too pitchy when she sings softly. And that outfit is *hideous* … are those shorts? a skort? She just doesn’t have star quality. And Carrie Underwood did it better.
8:09 p.m. - Randy Jackson says it’s too big of a song. “I’m really glad America has got to hear your sing; I give you a tremendous amount of credit …” (because you are sick and your voice sucks). Holy shit, what the hell is Paula Abdul wearing!!?? Simon Cowell didn’t think it was that bad, “The truth is … after you survived last week with that appalling performance, you are gonna make it through this week.”
8:11 p.m. - Simon and Randy bicker about Ramiele’s performance. We agree with Randy — not Simon. This cute bitch needs to go.
8:11 p.m. - Jeez, Paula is just a basket full of non sequiturs. Nothing she says has a meaning, a hidden meaning nor a reason to be stated. Therefore, she deserves a nice punch in the face. We’ll leave that for Simon to handle.
8:17 p.m. - Jason Castro looks sexier for some reason this week. His eyes match his shirt — is that it? This song sucks, and he sounds like he is barely singing. Hello, this is a singing contest!! Man, he is hot … if he’d just shave that damn head.
8:19 p.m. - “It was nice and pleasant, but nothing different vocally,” says Randy. Paula just reiterates what Randy says. Simon: “You’ve had two bad weeks, and I think it’s time you start taking this a little more seriously.” Then he compares him to someone who sings in a subway station. “Everything is too laid back and too much in your own world.”
8:22 p.m. - OK, we finally get the theme — songs from the year the contestant was born. Uh, it takes us a while to catch on! Syeisha Mercado needs to wear more glamourous outfits. Divas don’t perform in jeans.
8:24 p.m. - Best performance so far. She really knows how to bring it home.
8:25 p.m. - Randy says “yo” — that’s always a good sign. He continues,”I think this is the best you’ve ever sounded including your audition. We’ve got another competitor in the competition!” Paula: “What’s great about this performance is that this is the moment that everyone will remember.” Simon: “It was definitely your best so far, but we are three in.” Simon also didn’t think the ending was as good as Randy said it was.
8:33 p.m. - Dear Cheesy Chikezie, “If Only For One Night” was a bit boring. At one point, we forgot you were even performing and started staring out the window. Sigh. Yours truly, CFC
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Daisy De La Hoya, the girl bound to win Rock of Love 2, expounds on her and her ex-lovers relations in a blog posted to her MySpace account today.
She writes:
AS THE WORLD TURNS….
I Felt I Should Address The Latest Episode.. as it was pretty dramatic!! it is one of a few.. but this is important and I want you all to know!! so please read and consider.. Like food for thought… The remaining episodes that I appear in are Probably the hardest for me yet… But I feel this needed to be said!!
My Ex Charles and I… we had been together for 6 long years.. we were in a band.. and were/still are super close.. Im not close to my family and his family is all i have.. he has been there for me when most would have walked away.. and for that im very thankful…
But he is an Ex for A Reason!! We had a binding lease, both of us were traveling constantly and needed our residence as a home base…. I did not lie to Bret… I thought nothing of it and had considered Charles nothing but my roommate for some time… when he arrived obviously I let Bret know The situation…. and that was that… or so I thought……. But The Fact Is That If I Really Wanted To Lie About It I Very Well Could Have… But Instead I Willingly Opened Up About It.. because I Cared!!
Thank You All for the support… stay tuned to the show to see what happens with me next!!!!!
Much Love,
Daisy
Image courtesy of Daisy’s MySpace page.
Sounds like elimination is coming a day early. Bret Michaels will make the decision after he gets chatty with all the girls’ ex-boyfriends/husbands. And, after he gets Rock of Love’s first season party girl Heather to get the girls so wasted and wild that they tell her their deepest darkest secrets.
Oh god, Destiney’s ex-boyfriend looks like a complete dork! Isn’t she the one who loves rock stars? This guy looks more like a roadie for John Mayer! NONE Ambre’s exes would come out, so her über super-dork friend walks in wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt. Daisy’s ex is friggin’ HOT. He sorta has that dark, Chris Cornell thing going on.
Daisy fears that Heather is going to sabotage the girl who is the best match for sexy, old Bret (we’re sure she’s assuming it’s her). And it also seems like little Daisy has something to hide. Hmm … is she still sleeping with that hot guy??
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In just ten minutes, Heather has the girls almost topless and doing body shots — not that this is somehow different then any other day in the ROL house!
“It was awkward being with the exes,” Bret admits. It’s awkward, and he isn’t finding out any new info on his girls. Bret is pissed that Megan was on another reality show. Ahem, she *won* Beauty and the Geek 3! How does he not know this? We’re shocked he didn’t Google all of these girls at some point! Isn’t that the first thing you do before you go on a date nowadays?!?!
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Heather has the girls going more wild than ever: Megan and Jessica basically call Destiney a groupie slut; Destiney streaks like a groupie slut; Megan tells Heather about her reality TV past; and she insults Jessica. More drama ensues.
Meanwhile, the calculating and fake Ambre just sits back to watch the fireworks.
