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Flavor of Love 3, Round 9: Hotlanta or Hot Mess?

Flavor of Love 3 This week’s episode opens with Hotlanta chatting about unpaid rent and a possible eviction. Wait, I thought strippers made bank? Guess Hotlanta doesn’t fall in that category. Sinceer eavesdrops as usual and makes a snide remark about what a sorry excuse for a mother Hotlanta is! Ouch. Yet again, Hotlanta hits the sauce to soothe the pain of her possible homelessness. Flavor Flav gathers up the chicas for a group-wide wedding proposal. Flav’s the theatrical type, and he divides the ladies into groups of three: brides, maids of honor and one will be the biotch who opposes the marriage. Whoever does the best wins another flavorful date with the man wearing all them gold chains. After the ladies pick teams, the ceremony commences with Flav marrying Black. Her vows consist of more children and chicken. Now that’s pure romance. When it’s time for the kiss, Black seems rather uncomfortable, and there is not even any tongue or lip action. Tree becomes upset and outraged. For being the designated opposer, she causes quite the scene! Hotlanta is drunk (as usual) when it’s her time to tie the knot with old Flav. While Sinceer being the sincere lady she is, objects. She declares that Hotlanta isn’t classy or stable enough for our boy Flav. Is she right? Next up is Thing 2 with her sappy vows. She says Flav is not only her best friend, but he is her confidant. And totally the right man for her. Then she can’t even get his name right! What is it with these broads? It’s not William Drake, Muppet! It’s William Drayton. Prototype points out the obvious — that Muppet Twin 2 has nasty toenails and is sporting a funky bra. Totally sick! Flav doesn’t care; he makes her his bride, kisses her and invites the losers for a face off — casket style. Sinceer wins with a very heartfelt eulogy. She pays respect to Flavor Flav’s “Fight the Power” and the substance behind it for all African Americans. Of course, this makes Sinceer the winner, hands down. So the very daring Flav and Sinceer get to ride on a mini-plane over the Pacific. Flav asks the original girls to interview the newbies. And quite humorously, the girls choose Black as the one that’s truly there for Flav. She gets an intimate date in Flav’s bedroom where the two chat and lock lips. Meanwhile, hot mess Hotlanta (yes, this is no longer in question — this woman is a hot mess!!) starts talking shit to Tree and Luscious D about Flav’s kids, his financial status and the obvious fact that the mansion they are all living in isn’t really Flav’s. Hasn’t she learned to keep her mouth shut? Or was it the booze talking? Eventually, Hotlanta’s rude statements blow up in her face, almost resulting in an all out house brawl. Flav is peeved. He removes Hotlanta and Luscious D because it was obvious — they just didn’t mesh. — Katie LuRusso Image courtesy of VH1.

Rock of Love Mansion Owner Is Suing Mad

Rock of Love Star Bret Michaels Turns 69 blank Bret Michaels has not only destroyed the dreams of many striper-licious sex mates, he allegedly played a role in the $320,000 worth of damage recorded on the Rock of Love $9 million mansion. Eonline tells you more! (Via Perez Hilton)

American Idol: Top 8 Results: Goodbye, Michael Johns!! We Will Totally Miss You!

Michael Johns Heath Ledger 8:10 p.m. - So, we caught about 60 percent of the Idol Gives Back yesterday. All those A-list stars made us feel so incredibly guilty for living a gluttonous lifestyle filled with bottled water baths and such, that we accidentally donated $20. Did the show have that affect on anyone else? 8:21 p.m. - Ryan Seacrest should have sent that presumptuous bitch Brooke White home. For good. 8:21 p.m. - Of course, the Davids are safe. They are going to be the final two. No doubt. 8:28 p.m. - Rikki Lake is soooo SKINNY!!! We didn’t even recognize her! 8:35 p.m. - Whoever writes these awful Jordan Sparks songs should die a horrible, horrible death. 8:43 p.m. - Apparently Jason Castro is hump-worthy. We don’t really concur with this statement. From the number of screeches and screams, it is obvious someone wants him. 8:44 p.m. - Holy crap, Kristy Lee Cook is safe! Yuck. 8:45 p.m. - So, Michael Johns, Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson are in the bottom three. We have an icky feeling that Carly will be going home. She is too intense for this competition. 8:49 p.m. - Ah, Bono. Ah, Hilary. Ah, John McCaine. Where the eff is Obama? Ah, yes. Obama. We love the timing. We don’t care what this man does — he gives us chills. 8:52 p.m. - Randy Jackson says that this bottom three is surprising. Paula Abdul says it’s partly right and partly wrong. Simon Cowell believes America has started listening to him. He did warn Carly. 8:57 p.m. - Secreast starts with Michael, moves to Syesha and goes to Carly. Oh my god! I cannot believe Michael Johns is going home!!!!! 8:58 p.m. - And THEN Seacrest makes it sound as if they might keep him. He says he is definitely going home tonight. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! We even voted for him. Man, if we weren’t getting *paid* to watch this show, we’d be done. Screw you, America! 9:00 p.m. - Deep. Breath. 9:01 p.m. - Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Maybe he will come chat on CFC … hey, you never know! We love you, Michael!!! Image courtesy of AmericanIdol.com