A Shot at Love 2: Tila Plays Referee, Teacher, Prom Date and Puke Princess
Miz Tila Tequila clad in a slutty referee getup sits perched above all of her Romeos and Juliets ready to cheer them on during the second Bi-athlon. Wearing only wet-suits, flippers and goggles, the boys and girls must perform several stupid human tricks before winning a date with the Internet star.
Although no one will every replace Rock of Love 2’s eccentric stripper, Angelique Morgan, Glitter/Samantha comes close. The fact she thinks that utterly HIDEOUS eye-makeup is something to validate a name change to Glitter … it is just proof that all those sparkles have gone into her eyes, impeding vision and other necessary senses.
As for this week’s bi-factor, it was somewhere in the middle. Tila liked the girls as much as she liked the guys. However, she doesn’t like how Dominic thinks bisexuality is “just a phase.” Sheesh, Dominic! Way to really ruin your chances.
Other highlights from episode 3:
- There’s blow-up dolls and even a “robo-spanker” on the ladies’ strange fantasy date. Wtf kind of date is this? With Tila acting as the teacher and the girls in Britney Spears school girl outfits, this is looking more like a low-budget porno.
- The manly Lisa wears a Michael Jackson glove during her one-on-one time with Tila. Unforch she does not do his legendary crotch grab.
- Kristy and Jay quarrel like newlyweds on the Jerry Springer Show. “She called my mom a ho!” he screams. Um, she doesn’t even know your mom, so why do you even care?!
- Tila compares Ryan’s kiss during the loser prom to a dead frog. He’s going to croak after this!
- Jay and Chad grow close and more annoy by the minute. “Chad already has a girlfriend, and his name is Jay,” Scotty says. True dat.
- Glitter cries off all her makeup and then reapplies.
- Tila’s idea of a fun competition is to make these folks drink hot sauce, clam sauce, lemon juice — basically anything that is sick and can fit in a shot glass. And everyone barfs. Such gripping telelvision.
- Tila bestows a key upon Lisa, George, Michelle, Scotty, Sibrina, Brittany, Chad, Jay, Kyle, Kristy, Bo and Gitter. That means Dominic, Ryan, V and Lauryn must hit the road.
If you’ve been looking for the zany contestants from A Shot at Love 2 on MySpace, it’s been difficult. We know. We spent two hours yesterday digging around for them, too.
Sadly the first thing that comes up on Google for anyone is the lame-o 
8:12 p.m. David Archuleta is first. Of course they start with the best. “I feel nervous,” Archy says. The judges thought he “crushed” everyone else last night. He gets to put his tush on that prized velvet couch.
8:19 p.m. Did FOX really just dub the last four contestants the Fab Four after the Beatles? Puh-leez!! That’s like comparing Mickey Mouse to Jimi Hendrix.
8:22 p.m. David Cook has *got* to be safe. “You’ve been one of our most original ever,” Randy says to David. “Just be yourself.” The Davids are in the top three! (And likely the top two!)
8:24 p.m. Let’s hope that Jason Castro took Simon’s advice. He is such a dolt. We’ve never seen a bigger male airhead.
8:31 p.m. David C. gets asked on a date during the call-in Q&A. When asked what he’s struggled with, Jason says: “Just the brain being dead.” He’s such a dummy!
8:34 p.m. “I’ve got to say, I really I like the questions this week,” Simon says after someone calls in and suggests he should be the next James Bond. “He’s sexy and intriguing,” says the much-older sounding woman on the other end of the line.
8:44 p.m. Maroon 5 first album was rockin’. This stuff is like taking the long road to yawn town.
8:45 p.m. Bo Bice needs a straightening iron. 
7:04 p.m. Yay! Cookie (our new name for David Cook) is singing Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf”! We prefer 
Playboy model and CFC superstar Mandy Lynn wants you to rock the vote. Not for Hilary or Obama or that really, really old dude — but for her!
The MySpace princess is part of Flex Magazine’s Bikini Model Search 2008. 